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Homeless

by Blacknurse

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1.
Doctors 04:48
at midnights fighting messages I don't have time to make a call therapists I just wanna be at home 'cause this life is too heavy for me and the filters are really getting too cold and the blood is like cement in my veins I've been used for my kindness again doctors everywhere good night cigarettes get me to sleep again and the fear that you made me feel and the storm that you once raised behind the door I just don't give you another chance you're not as good as you think you are and to you, doctors I never told you this place is like hell to me white walls and medicines
2.
Child 05:27
escaping from reality you are my illusion escaping into dreams of you I try to forget you no matter how I try to forget you all these dreams are so real and faith behind your wild heart it makes me dream of you again but turn back 'cause I'm a child with open eyes I'm a child with open heart I'm a child with open arms turn back 'cause I'm a child with open eyes I'm a child with open heart I'm a child with open soul you were always on my mind even if you're far away even if you were rude to me I just couldn't stay I have to go this illusion has to be safe inside of me
3.
my love is running out of me can't you see? and this land of golden promises doesn't help me feel alive doesn't make me know myself yet am I still alive? you don't really know me like you think you do I looked into your cold eyes I looked inside your soul I looked inside your silent place and there was so cold
4.
Sleep 05:01
remember to rest enough for your dreams to heal the memories of your pain and live and dance for your soul don't you hide all the time, we are missing you here life is too short to be afraid you are so wonderful and great my sister, my friend and see all the love that you keep inside all the answers you need to find don't forget how to feel alive my sister, my friend
5.
Julie 03:36
my heart is bleeding and burning through my chest I capture fear everywhere I walk alone and I really need you, hey Julie I don't know why you're living in my head you are the reason to exist and I really miss you, hey Julie won't you leave? I believe she's somewhere there behind those eyes, behind the smile I believe she's somewhere there the girl who always was denied I saw your soul inside your silver-eyes your beauty was tearing my worlds apart you are my inner side sweet Julie
6.
Street 03:32
the streets are free to walk but I don't have a need to talk so I wait 'till tomorrow will I have my sunshine? you'll be mine maybe only in dreams you'll be my maybe tomorrow the rain is raping me so I could see so much clearer but right now I just wanna shout to shout out with all my energy sometimes you are too ugly to this world and sometimes you need to shout aloud
7.
I found myself at the graveyard I was dancing there with snow I thought I already said goodbye but maybe I just couldn't do that tomorrow I shoud leave this garden they are already looking for me they want me to move to my father's house he is living in Paris here are my dearest friends now my mother, my sister, my brother and under the smallest maple tree here sleeps my oldest friend Jasmine and I think and I think that I'm not going to leave I just hide myself under the maple tree and sleep near my family and I don't know why I don't know why I can't feel anything anymore but agony
8.
End 07:14
I can't believe it's true you betrayed my thoughts of you I have to run and hide it's only terrifying it's my weakness I don't believe in you so I must let you go now I never will confess that I loved you so I'm not a dreamer anymore and before I go I try not to be your enemy I swallow my pain tears that you ignored before I go I wan't you to know I'm not a dreamer anymore
9.
the shadow of fear woke up yesterday inside my soul I feel empty and scared blood is flowing out of my hands my heart is searching for a way out of this glowing sand there is a wall between us I have to tear it down before I break myself time, pass through my misery fast I don't wanna live in the past and I'm damned to be who I am so cruel and strong-minded and I know that you closed the door before I needed you more I needed you more so I'll wait for a smile from the right one in time
10.
snake is my only lover I run only undercover with him distant earth far below us we are flying through the air making all the pain disappear and I let myself fall down to his arms I let myself go snake is my only lover I drink all the poison and suffer away through his veins we can swim in the deepest oceans we can find all the hidden beauty of darkened feelings and I let my rain fall down to his anger I let myself go and I let my rain fall down to his anger I let my rain fall and it's a long night and dark path to go I go anywhere I want to go and it's a glowing night I can't feel the morning here it is an endless night the way of sorrow
11.
minä tiedän kaukana sä oot vaikka istuisitkin vierelläni keksin päässäni sun seuraavia sanoja sanot mikään ei rajoita mutta onko se sittenkään niin? märkänä hiestä kompuroit sä pimeessä miltä se tuntuu? kaipaat etäisyyttä, silti pidät liian lujaa kii riipivä hiljaisuus on välillämme keino uus ja unohduksen voimana on päästä irti tunteista katketa vois jalkani jos ottaisit mut taas sun syliisi et lähelles päästä, kai rakkautta säästät vaikkei sitä tuhlata voi märkänä hiestä kompuroit sä pimeessä miltä se tuntuu?

about

BLACKNURSE:
Vocals - Johanna Tirri
Bass and guitars - Teemu Suoniemi
Guitars - Antti Silvennoinen
Drums and percussion - Petteri Pietikäinen

Keyboards (and guitar solos on “Street”) - Eemeli Hakala
Additional keyboards by Matti Vasanen
Violin by Pauliina Lehtinen

Lyrics written by Johanna Tirri
Music by Johanna Tirri and Teemu Suoniemi
Arranged by Teemu Suoniemi and Blacknurse

This album was recorded between october 2015 and september 2016
Drums recorded by Teemu Suoniemi and Eemeli Hakala at Lintuharju’s hunting cabin, Ylöjärvi
All the rest recorded by Teemu Suoniemi at Blacknurse’s band camp, Tampere

Edited by Teemu Suoniemi and Matti Vasanen
Mixed and mastered by Matti Vasanen
Cover paintings by Johanna Tirri
Cover layout by Blacknurse

Produced by Teemu Suoniemi
All rights reserved by Suomu records, 2016

Thank you Matti Vasanen, Eemeli Hakala, Pauliina Lehtinen, Juho Ronkainen, Riku Koivurinne, Topi Tirri, Liisa Kolu, Jonathan Roberts, Yvonne Hyrynen, families, friends and enemies for support and inspiration along the way.

The night was long and a way of sorrows.

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released December 29, 2016

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Blacknurse Tampere, Finland

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