Homeless

by Blacknurse

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04:48
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05:27
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05:01
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03:36
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03:32
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07:14
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about

BLACKNURSE:
Vocals - Johanna Tirri
Bass and guitars - Teemu Suoniemi
Guitars - Antti Silvennoinen
Drums and percussion - Petteri Pietikäinen

Keyboards (and guitar solos on “Street”) - Eemeli Hakala
Additional keyboards by Matti Vasanen
Violin by Pauliina Lehtinen

Lyrics written by Johanna Tirri
Music by Johanna Tirri and Teemu Suoniemi
Arranged by Teemu Suoniemi and Blacknurse

This album was recorded between october 2015 and september 2016
Drums recorded by Teemu Suoniemi and Eemeli Hakala at Lintuharju’s hunting cabin, Ylöjärvi
All the rest recorded by Teemu Suoniemi at Blacknurse’s band camp, Tampere

Edited by Teemu Suoniemi and Matti Vasanen
Mixed and mastered by Matti Vasanen
Cover paintings by Johanna Tirri
Cover layout by Blacknurse

Produced by Teemu Suoniemi
All rights reserved by Suomu records, 2016

Thank you Matti Vasanen, Eemeli Hakala, Pauliina Lehtinen, Juho Ronkainen, Riku Koivurinne, Topi Tirri, Liisa Kolu, Jonathan Roberts, Yvonne Hyrynen, families, friends and enemies for support and inspiration along the way.

The night was long and a way of sorrows.

credits

released December 29, 2016

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Blacknurse Tampere, Finland

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Track Name: Doctors
at midnights fighting
messages
I don't have time to make a call
therapists
I just wanna be at home

'cause this life is too heavy for me
and the filters are really getting too cold
and the blood is like cement in my veins
I've been used for my kindness again

doctors everywhere
good night cigarettes
get me to sleep again

and the fear that you made me feel
and the storm that you once raised behind the door
I just don't give you another chance
you're not as good as you think you are

and to you, doctors
I never told you
this place is like hell to me
white walls
and medicines
Track Name: Child
escaping from reality
you are my illusion
escaping into dreams of you
I try to forget you

no matter how I try to forget you
all these dreams are so real
and faith behind your wild heart
it makes me dream of you again

but turn back
'cause I'm a child with open eyes
I'm a child with open heart
I'm a child with open arms
turn back
'cause I'm a child with open eyes
I'm a child with open heart
I'm a child with open soul

you were always on my mind
even if you're far away
even if you were rude to me
I just couldn't stay

I have to go
this illusion has to be safe inside of me
Track Name: Drink This Blood
my love is running out of me
can't you see?

and this land of golden promises
doesn't help me feel alive
doesn't make me know myself yet
am I still alive?

you don't really know me
like you think you do

I looked into your cold eyes
I looked inside your soul
I looked inside your silent place
and there was so cold
Track Name: Sleep
remember to rest enough for your dreams
to heal the memories of your pain

and live and dance for your soul
don't you hide all the time, we are missing you here

life is too short to be afraid
you are so wonderful and great
my sister, my friend

and see all the love that you keep inside
all the answers you need to find
don't forget how to feel alive
my sister, my friend
Track Name: Julie
my heart is bleeding and burning
through my chest
I capture fear everywhere
I walk alone
and I really need you, hey Julie

I don't know why
you're living in my head
you are the reason to exist
and I really miss you, hey Julie

won't you leave?

I believe she's somewhere there
behind those eyes, behind the smile
I believe she's somewhere there
the girl who always was denied

I saw your soul inside your silver-eyes
your beauty was tearing my worlds apart
you are my inner side
sweet Julie
Track Name: Street
the streets are free to walk
but I don't have a need to talk
so I wait 'till tomorrow
will I have my sunshine?

you'll be mine
maybe only in dreams
you'll be my
maybe tomorrow

the rain is raping me
so I could see so much clearer
but right now I just wanna shout
to shout out with all my energy

sometimes you are too ugly to this world
and sometimes you need to shout aloud
Track Name: Graveyard Song
I found myself at the graveyard
I was dancing there with snow
I thought I already said goodbye
but maybe I just couldn't do that

tomorrow I shoud leave this garden
they are already looking for me
they want me to move to my father's house
he is living in Paris

here are my dearest friends now
my mother, my sister, my brother
and under the smallest maple tree
here sleeps my oldest friend Jasmine

and I think and I think
that I'm not going to leave
I just hide myself under the maple tree
and sleep near my family

and I don't know why
I don't know why
I can't feel anything anymore
but agony
Track Name: End
I can't believe it's true
you betrayed my thoughts of you
I have to run and hide
it's only terrifying
it's my weakness

I don't believe in you
so I must let you go now
I never will confess
that I loved you so
I'm not a dreamer anymore

and before I go
I try not to be your enemy
I swallow my pain
tears that you ignored

before I go
I wan't you to know
I'm not a dreamer anymore
Track Name: Shadow Of Fear
the shadow of fear
woke up yesterday inside my soul
I feel empty and scared

blood is flowing out of my hands
my heart is searching for a way
out of this glowing sand

there is a wall between us
I have to tear it down
before I break myself

time, pass through my misery fast
I don't wanna live in the past

and I'm damned to be who I am
so cruel and strong-minded
and I know that you closed the door
before I needed you more
I needed you more

so I'll wait
for a smile
from the right one
in time
Track Name: Snake Is My Only Lover
snake is my only lover
I run only undercover with him
distant earth far below us
we are flying through the air
making all the pain disappear

and I let myself fall down to his arms
I let myself go

snake is my only lover
I drink all the poison and suffer away
through his veins
we can swim in the deepest oceans
we can find all the hidden beauty
of darkened feelings

and I let my rain fall down to his anger
I let myself go
and I let my rain fall down to his anger
I let my rain fall

and it's a long night
and dark path to go
I go anywhere I want to go
and it's a glowing night
I can't feel the morning here
it is an endless night
the way of sorrow
Track Name: Alkusoitto sateelle
minä tiedän
kaukana sä oot
vaikka istuisitkin vierelläni
keksin päässäni sun seuraavia sanoja
sanot mikään ei rajoita
mutta onko se sittenkään niin?

märkänä hiestä kompuroit sä pimeessä
miltä se tuntuu?

kaipaat etäisyyttä, silti pidät liian lujaa kii
riipivä hiljaisuus on välillämme keino uus
ja unohduksen voimana
on päästä irti tunteista
katketa vois jalkani
jos ottaisit mut taas sun syliisi

et lähelles päästä, kai rakkautta säästät
vaikkei sitä tuhlata voi
märkänä hiestä kompuroit sä pimeessä
miltä se tuntuu?